Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Wallnuts, wrong husband, schoolboy joke

They are selling wet wallnuts at a nearby greengrocer, ie wallnuts which haven't been artificially dried. They crack open easily.The wrinkled nut comes whole out of the shell, and, with its two halves loosely linked, looks rather like a brain. The nut has a thin brown skin under which the colour is a milky white. The taste is a mixture of creams and tannins; a faint, fading bitterness.

I am leaning over a box of books in the Oxfam bookshop, when a stange woman taps me on the shoulder: "Are you ready, Darling?" she asks. I look up. "I'm sorry," she says, "I thought you were my husband".

This one was new to me. "A French cat and an English cat set out to swim the Channel. The French cat was called Un Deux Trois, the English cat, One Two Three.
Which cat made it? The English cat because the Un Deux Trois quat' cinque".


Clare said...

My French teacher told us a similiar joke when I was eight -- it was about cats called Un, Deux and Trois who went skating on thin ice. It really did help me learn my numbers.

Word Imp said...

I love the joke and I love the moment in the bookshop where the stranger called you darling. My friend was accosted recently by a stranger with the comment "so how are you getting on with that barbecue then?" My friend does not own a bbq. Turns out he looked like someone who bought a bbq at a garage sale.