These may possibly come in useful. Two items of French slang for pubic hair: cresson, literally cress; and persil, literally parsley.
In today's paper, I read an account of a banquet at the Elysee Palace written by the BBC correspondent, Caroline Wyatt. At the reception line, she was welcomed first by Jaques Chirac, then by the Queen, who asked her what she did in Paris. "On being told", writes Wyatt, "the Queen replied: 'How fascinating!' So I asked her how she was enjoying her visit, only to receive a sharp rebuke from Prince Philip. 'Damn fool question,' he barked, as the Queen gave him a mildly reproachful look."
In Sainsbury's a small boy throws himself to the floor. "Don't kick him, " says his mother. "Just leave him there."