A black and white cat lives across the street. It is behaving oddly attaching itself to passers-by and following them as far as the corner. Every now and then it ventures on to the roadway endangering its life. An old lady neighbour concerned about its well-being knocks at our door to see if we know where it belongs. It is unhappy, hungry and thirsty. The creature is carried to a person who looks after lost cats. She finds that it has a chip implanted in it which indicates its provenance. It appears that, like most of the human beings in the vicinity, it is doolally . Hence the alarm. Back with its owners it has returned to patrolling the other side of the street. Meanwhile people in the vicinity are keeping a day and night watch to ensure that it observes the Highway Code.
A polite and helpful young woman responds to my telephone request for a boiler service. Tomorrow morning, we agree. "By the way," she says , "Do you have a dog? It's Health and Safety, you see. One of our engineers was bitten". "No dog", I say. "Just the tiger and two leopards". Fortunately she has a sense of humour.