Outside Hall's bookshop I meet one of the assistants. "You haven't spotted Wuthering Heights, have you?" she says. "We had four copies and they have all gone." I say: "That's because it's on tele..." "Yes," she says, "And it's an A Level book."
I find an Arabic phrase book to join my collection of phrase books. It has a useful section called Talking to a Girl. I will not trouble you with the Arabic. The English will suffice as an indication of its value.
You are a beautiful girl.
I admire you.
I loved you from the first sight.
I like to see you often.
When can I see you again?
What about spending the night together this evening?
Can I call you?
What is your phone number?
I love you!
I was happy with you.
Short and too the point, relationships' alpha and omega, in an Arabic nutshell.
That window looks as if it should be by the sea.
I love the 'found poem' from the phrasebook. I was just reading some extracts from Mme de Genlis 18th century phrasebook for German speakers in France, which is equally funny in a different way, containing things like 'Postillion, if you drive slowly round the corners I will give you a tip, otherwise only the fare...'
What awful event precipitated the collapse of the relationship?
My favourite came from a German phrase book: "Please do not drive us through any vulgar places."
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