The crow who usually holds court in The Grove is absent this morning. Instead I meet him on the curb in Grosevenor Road, waiting to cross.Among the "lifestyle solutions" in a catalogue in the post to day is a pair spiked rubber devices to slip over your shoes which "help prevent broken bones, serious strains, pulled muscles and bruised pride." There is also: a flexible workstation for your laptop to cover your knees and keep your lap cool; an electronic cigarette , which looks and tastes like a real one and smoke which is "just water vapour".; a grip to fit underneath rugs to stop them slipping; a device to extend a tight waist band by up to two inches; thermal socks designed to prevent astronauts form the "cold of deep space"; your own private portable urinal ... "for men and women"; a keyring which flashes and bleeps when you whistle; a spray to keep foxes away; and a puzzle roll made from clinging acrylic felt to allow jigsaws to be rolled up before completion without disturbing loose and fitted pieces.
A tall girl with blond hair and a blue jacket walks towards me in Calverley Ground. She is carrying a plastic lid or disk like a Frisbee. It looks as though it has tooth marks on it, which give a hint of its purpose. She is accompanied by an athletic black dog of indeterminate breed. She throws the disk, which the dog bounds after and catches in mid air.
4 comments:
Lovely Crow.
What CC said.
It's a wonderful world that hath such gadgets in it, though the steamy cigarette sounds fairly disgusting. So what did you order?
Tempted in varying degrees to all, I resisted ordering any.
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