A mother-in-law from hell. My cousin over lunch describes a strange French woman who apart from refusing to speak to members of her family for years on end, gave her daughter the following advice: "If you are in a restaurant with your husband you should each take it in turn look at each other and count slowly to 10". Why? "People will think that you are talking to one another".
A shiny broad based thermos flask in which to bring nourishing soup to my other half when she is ready for it, which by all accounts will be in the next day or so.